Let’s Talk about Mental Illness Like we Talk about Migraines

Let’s imagine for a moment that I posted a Facebook status saying
“I really hope this migraine goes away soon. It’s impossible to study for finals right now.”

Most people wouldn’t bat an eye at that. Having migraines, unfortunately, is super common. I would get sympathy and maybe even some advice.

Now, let’s imagine I posted this status on Facebook:
“I really hope this PTSD episode goes away soon. It’s impossible to study for finals right now.”

I feel like even in this day and age, even with so many people fighting mental illness stigma, it would still be a little strange and out of place if I posted the second status right now.  Continue reading Let’s Talk about Mental Illness Like we Talk about Migraines

Quick Update

I’m feeling very “me” again. It doesn’t take much to make me happy these days. I’ve missed that. And since I’m not getting triggered as often as I had been in fall, I’m not feeling as anxious anymore either. I’m definitely going to cherish this while it lasts!

Unfortunately, I also found out that N may have a girlfriend. For years I wondered how I might react to that type of news. I thought I would be scared out of my mind for the poor girl who, in my mind, would be subjected to much the same disrespect as I was. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as horrified as I thought I’d be. I mean, I’m nervous for her… but my reaction wasn’t nearly as strong as I expected. Best of luck to you, girl.

hunger-games-district12-salute

Thanks for reading this post. You can find my backstory here.

“There is no easy way to be a survivor. If I only tell you about the pain, I fear I will perpetuate toxic stereotypes of the victim who is broken.
But if I share with you only about my healing, I fear you will believe that time heals trauma, that healing is linear, and that it will minimize the damage of sexual assault.”
-Sarah Super

The People Who Sexually Assaulted Me Were Selfish and Didn’t Love Me

Sexual assault is selfish and if a person does it, they do not truly love and respect the person they’re with.

It’s selfish, because it’s putting one’s own “needs” above someone else’s safety and well-being. It’s selfish because the person would rather avoid a potentially awkward moment than make sure their “loved one” does not have their boundaries crossed.

Love is not selfish. Love is respectful. Love is putting someone else’s needs over one’s own. If they truly loved me, they never would’ve risked hurting me.

Accepting My New Normal

I’ve come a long way in the process of healing from sexual assault. It almost feels manageable at this point. However, I think one main thing at this point is holding me back from making peace with my past: I haven’t accepted my new normal. Continue reading Accepting My New Normal