The People Who Sexually Assaulted Me Were Selfish and Didn’t Love Me

Sexual assault is selfish and if a person does it, they do not truly love and respect the person they’re with.

It’s selfish, because it’s putting one’s own “needs” above someone else’s safety and well-being. It’s selfish because the person would rather avoid a potentially awkward moment than make sure their “loved one” does not have their boundaries crossed.

Love is not selfish. Love is respectful. Love is putting someone else’s needs over one’s own. If they truly loved me, they never would’ve risked hurting me.

Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger: Our story of rape and reconciliation

Trigger warning: Rape

“In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence, and invite us to discuss the omnipresent global issue of sexual violence in a new, honest way. For a Q&A with the speakers, visit go.ted.com/thordisandtom.”

This gives me so much hope ❤