A Second Draft of What I’d Say if I Go Public

I’ve been considering going public for a while now. Here’s what I might say if I end up going public in a Facebook post. The first draft can be found here.

“There’s a secret I’ve been keeping for a long time. I’ve kept it to myself for fear that I will become defined by what happened to me in the eyes of others. I’ve feared that people will say that it’s not a big deal. That I need to just get over it. That I’m just sharing my story for attention. Well, it is a big deal and it’s okay not to be over it. And you know what? I do want attention — not for me but for the issue at hand. I want people to stop and think about the society we live in. Because what happened to me is not acceptable. I also choose to do this because I feel it’s right to hide such a big part of myself from those I love. After all, I have nothing to be ashamed of.

You’ve heard the statistic that approximately one in four women (and one in six men) have survived sexual assault.

Well, I am the one in four. Continue reading A Second Draft of What I’d Say if I Go Public

A Draft of What I’d Say If I Go Public

I’ve been considering going public for a while now. Here’s what I might say if I end up going public in a Facebook post:

“There’s a secret I’ve been keeping for a long time. I’ve kept it to myself for fear that I will become defined by what happened to me in the eyes of others. I’ve feared that people will say that it’s not a big deal. That I need to just get over it. That I’m just sharing my story for attention. Well, it is a big deal and it’s okay not to be over it. And you know what? I do want attention. I want people to stop and think about the society we live in. Because what happened to me is not acceptable.

You’ve heard the statistic that approximately one in four women have survived sexual assault.

Well, I am the one in four. Continue reading A Draft of What I’d Say If I Go Public

Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger: Our story of rape and reconciliation

Trigger warning: Rape

“In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence, and invite us to discuss the omnipresent global issue of sexual violence in a new, honest way. For a Q&A with the speakers, visit go.ted.com/thordisandtom.”

This gives me so much hope ❤

Thoughts on the Four Year Anniversary of the First Time I was Sexually Assaulted

I just came across a video I made on the four year anniversary of the first time I was sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend. I actually went to the place that it happened and rambled at a camera. So here’s the transcript of that video. Also, the picture at the top of the page is at that location. This has been edited for clarity. Continue reading Thoughts on the Four Year Anniversary of the First Time I was Sexually Assaulted

I watched the video below a while ago (big trigger warning because of the descriptions of sexual assault) and made the mistake of venturing into the comments section afterward. I found the comment in the picture below and responded to the jerk as best I could. I’d taken a screenshot of it and just came across it now, almost two years later. I’d almost forgotten about this!

comment-on-breeessrig-my-sexual-assult-story

Breakthrough

Last fall I got to a point where I was just sick of being a survivor — sick of triggers, sick of the exhausting recovery process, sick of it all. I lost my patience with the whole thing. I just wanted to be “okay” already. My motivation was all but gone. And then within the last two weeks I had two important changes in perspective:

Continue reading Breakthrough