I’ve come a long way in the process of healing from sexual assault. It almost feels manageable at this point. However, I think one main thing at this point is holding me back from making peace with my past: I haven’t accepted my new normal.
I still vividly remember what it’s like to not have symptoms of mental illness, and I miss that. I was so carefree. I woke up in the morning happy without even trying.
But my life isn’t like that anymore and it probably will never be. I resent that people have had the nerve to disrespect me by crossing my boundaries. I resent that I have symptoms of mental illness because of them. I resent that none of this is under my control.
Longing for what used to be isn’t helping. I have no idea how to, but I need to accept my new normal. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I need to stop wishing that my life were different. The past is set in stone. All I can do now is make the best of it.