I’m Afraid People Will Say…

Telling people that I’m a survivor is really difficult for me. I’m so afraid of people saying hurtful, ignorant things. I’m careful who I tell my story to for this reason. Their opinions aren’t going to change what happened to me or what I know to be true, but it would still be awful to open up to someone and be met with one of the following reactions, which I’m really afraid of:

“Tell me what happened.”
“What were you wearing?”
“Were you drinking?”
“Why didn’t you just fight back?”
“You should’ve just said no.”
“You poor thing.”
“You need to report this.”
“If I see ever him, I’m going to punch him in the face.”
“Are you sure that’s sexual assault?”
“It’s not their fault. They didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“But N/P/Z is a good guy. He would never do that.”
“It’s been years. Why aren’t you over this yet?”
“Stop making a mountain out of a molehill.”
“If you don’t have PTSD then why are you complaining?”
“Well of course he didn’t ask first. That would’ve ruined the moment.”
“You should’ve just left N after the first time he did it.”
“You should’ve known better than to believe N’s apologies.”
“Why did you keep dating them after it happened?”
“You still talk with P? If you were really sexually assaulted you wouldn’t still talk with him.”
“If that happened to me, I would’ve ___”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? Don’t you trust me?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“It’s normal for guys to do that.”
Telling people without my consent.

Thank you for reading this article. You can find my backstory here.


One thought on “I’m Afraid People Will Say…

  1. Sadly, some people will react this way.
    Regardless, no matter what you were wearing, or doing, or drinking, it’s not your fault. No matter who says it to you (in my case, it was my parents). They are wrong.


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