(I’d recommend reading the part of this post about P before continuing if you haven’t yet. Otherwise, this post won’t make a lot of sense.)
After our breakup, P and I stayed “friends.” I say “friends” because we barely talk. Let’s be honest, it’s hard to hold a conversation with a man of few words like him. Anyway, I’ve Facebook stalked his girlfriend a few times (Don’t judge. We all do it). Each time I went there (which isn’t that often, in my defense), I see feminist posts relating mostly to sexual assault and affirmative consent. I know next to nothing about this girl, but I like her! She seems to be the type of girl who demands respect in relationships. Props. Then again, I’m also reading heavily into the few posts I’ve seen.
Anyway, let’s pretend I didn’t just tell you about my little Facebook stalking problem… P didn’t take it well the night he sexually assaulted me. From the beginning, he knew it was serious. Seeing her posts made me think that P has probably learned a lot about consent and sexual assault through her. I sure as hell hope so. But here’s the big question that’s been on my mind today: What if by learning about this through his girlfriend, he’s realized that the term ‘sexual assault’ applies to what he did to me? How cool would that be!? I’m sure the realization would be scary as hell for him (as it should be), but I like the idea of him fully learning from his mistakes without my involvement. I’m not sure I’d ever have the guts to confront my exes, even P who is the only one I still talk with.
My healing process would be expedited greatly if I knew that everyone who sexually assaulted me understood the magnitude of what they did. I don’t want them making another girl go through what I did. Not likely, but a girl can dream.
Thank you for reading this article. You can find my backstory here.