My Background and Story

About Me

I’m a female in my 20’s and am from the American Midwest. I’m a heathcare professional, a feminist, a scientist, a musician, a swing dancer, a dreamer, and a million other irrelevant things.
Oh yeah, and I’m a survivor of multiple sexual assaults.
So why am I making this blog? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure yet. I already have a journal. Maybe this’ll be a good way to organize my thoughts in one spot. Or better yet, maybe it can help you recover, help you help someone who is recovering, or allow you to better understand what life is like as a survivor.
Here goes nothing.

My Story (TLDR version at the bottom)
Trigger warning: descriptions of sexual assault.

Turning eighteen felt pretty good, as it does for most people. For me, it meant celebrating my biggest accomplishment to date: learning to cope with the severe anxiety brought on by my parents’ divorce which began the previous year. It meant starting a new life with my mom after watching her being verbally abused ever since I can remember. It was a time of growth for both of us.
It was also a time of fear. I was afraid my severe anxiety would come back. I was afraid that I would repeat my parents’ mistakes by either becoming my father or marrying someone like him. Mostly it was a time of determination, because I was doing everything in my power to make sure those fears wouldn’t become a reality even though the odds were against me in both respects. Because of my parents, I learned that respect is the most important thing in a relationship. I knew that because of what I saw my parents go through, I would demand respect in every relationship and show them the door if that didn’t happen.
Well… that didn’t quite go the way I planned. Continue reading My Background and Story

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10 Most Popular Posts

  1. Sexual Assault vs. Sexual Violence
  2. #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou
  3. Post Traumatic Growth
  4. Intrusive Thoughts and the Menstrual Cycle
  5. People are Not Born Rapists. They are Bred.
  6. Quotes from the Men Who Sexually Assaulted Me
  7. I Was Sexually Assaulted While Swing Dancing
  8. I’ve Been Sexually Assaulted More Times Than I Can Count… And What that Says About Rape Culture
  9. Afraid of the Dark
  10. Yes, I’m Well Aware it Could’ve Been Worse

Last updated: 3/22/18

As A Man Who Respects Women, I Thought I’d Never Crossed A Line. I Was Wrong.

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“When we think of those guilty of sexual assault and abuse, we tend to be reminded of some of the most vile and morally corrupt figures in our lives and in the news.

As someone who has always highly respected women, I never imagined I could be remotely associated with this issue.

It turns out, I was wrong.”

Obnoxiously Joyful

I’ve been on Prozac for over a month and a half now. The big change I’ve noticed now that it’s fully kicked in is that I’m obnoxiously joyful much of the time. I was like this back in high school, so it feels kinda weird to be so happy almost all the time. I never thought the “old me” would come back. I thought it died when my parents divorced and experienced my more traumatic episodes of sexual assault. Continue reading Obnoxiously Joyful

A Man Tried to Follow Me When I Was Biking

Trigger warning: sexual harassment

Lately I’ve been going on short bike rides a few times per week in a huge park that I love to refer to as my “urban oasis.” Early last Saturday morning, I was doing my usual route alone in the woods. I was enjoying the fact that I was building stamina and could see my muscles start to get more defined. Plus, it’s so relaxing to be immersed in nature and see lots of cute dogs.  Continue reading A Man Tried to Follow Me When I Was Biking

One Month on Prozac

Long story short: I freaking love Prozac and I wish I’d given it a try ten years ago. Continue reading One Month on Prozac